Write some funny software

I'm looking for someone that can create a few funny programs for me, elaborate vbs/bat and apple scripts if possible.

Disclaimer - Adult content, some photos & writing that will be used is of an adult/explicit nature, if you are not comfortable with this then thank you for reading, I bid you a good day.

To give you an idea as i'm being very broad here i'm looking for things similar to these sites -

[login to view URL]

[login to view URL]

But I want them more upto date, more elaborate, more annoying and of course more personal to my business and how I would use them.

Things like the Newton Virus for macs as an idea if its even possible now and the registry hacks that are available on [login to view URL] etc..

I want funny, annoying, hard to get rid of scripts & programs that give the wow factor.

These programs will not be used in any illegal way. I run an adult entertainment business and i've recently expanded into online entertainment, my knowledge with pcs and basic stuff is good and i've managed so far but I need someone professional to step in and create some programs that are special for the launch of the new site that is coming soon.

Happy to provide links of who I am and what I do..

Thanks for reading,

Jodie

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