Boost website traffic - NO SEO

First read carefully: I DON'T need a SEO I DON'T want "awesome packages" I DON'T want "insite/offsite optimizations" I DON'T want "PR over 9000 links" I DON'T want SEO buzzwords proposals This things are just useless for my purpose. I have a brand new website and I want *real traffic*. I don't care how you will achieve this , as long is not plain spam: social networks - twitters, facebook etc. - forum posting, blog posting etc. - as long you can provide solid, reliable, quality and targeted traffic. Site info and details via PM If you are a standard SEO -> Don't Bid. I don't want standard packages, I don't want proposals with "we cannot assure you traffic". I will pay only on real results. I will pay only for traffic. *** Solid, reliable, quality, NON FAKE and targeted traffic *** You have to bring me traffic, not enhance my search engine position or optimize keywords. You have to be an "Human Adword" that brings solid, reliable, quality, NON FAKE and targeted traffic I need a marketing man who know how to approach social and online marketing, NOT an average SEO. Bid only if you think you are the man for this, and explain your approach.