let's write
Conversing is the social marathon we must have to undertake. It is the phenomenon which comprises almost all the social challenges we come across and brings many of the joys we ever savour. It is not physically onerous though, it can drain you intellectually, if you are aware of the repercussions of what you utter at any time. If you are not aware of graveness of the matter, you are free to be blithely garrulous. Awareness brings with itself much pain. As our rawness is attenuated we find ourselves engaging in more and more stilted conversations, attempting to avoid any offense or even its nuance. That is the very reason, the more a person is learned, the more calculated he is. Number of words begin to reduce with the gain in experience. Parsimony is the tell tale of the life full of experiences and realizations. When you are naive your goal is to be able to Speak to more people and more often even if you have to ridicule some to get the attention of others. You want to be popular at the cost of others self respect. Though if life blesses you with the privilege of being polished, you start taking pains in making your conversations anodyne. You practice uttering only those things that don't cause hurt, discomfort or embarrassment to the end of those innocent people who cannot compete with your social skills and therefore cannot respond to your clever insinuations while remaining as artificially civil as you can. They stay quiet because they know they cannot engage with you in repartee, that doesn't mean they don't feel what they are presented by. Shattering someone's confidence just to inflate your own ego is nothing but a psulanimous act. Mastering the art of conversing requires controlling your whims that assail you at any slightest hint of losing an argument and make you just a Paragon of vengeance. You lose all your values, standards that you set for yourself and act below yourself just for a moment's victory. That means conversing is not your thing and your conversational capabilities are still at the nascent stage of evolution.
There are still others that don't get off hand in speech yet they don't have the skill to use this tool to the optimum level. You can make a difference in your and others lives if you know how to converse, how to build a relationship based on regard for each other, how to execute your dealings with finesse and in a decent, refined manner. To cherish your self esteem, you don't have to degrade others. You can verily be an honourable person while letting others maintain their self respect. It's not that you have to snatch others confidence to increase your own confidence. Their is enough confidence for everyone in this world as it is not relative in nature. So their is nothing wrong with letting others feel good about themselves through the conversations. It's perfectly fine to listen someone calmly, admiring someone other than you. Let the conversations that are being carried around you favourable for everyone. Don't intervene in conversations when someone else is getting the spot light. Let him earn his due respect as it will not lessen yours. On the other hand your intervention that depicts your insecurity can easily lessen your respect. You don't know the number of people who can read you inside out when you show such weaknesses.
Listening teaches you more than talking can teach you ever. So, it is ok to let others speak for as long as they like. Being an audience doesn't mean you are less than the speaker. Indeed listening is the soul of conversations. Ratio of your speaking time to listening time doesn't show
how good conversationist you are. Yet your level of maturity through the process of conversing does show your worth as a speaker. You may speak the least but contribute the most to lead a mature conversation.
Whenever you realize you were wrong about something at sometime, make sure you concede it. Being stubborn to stick to a foolish or fragile standpoint makes you look undignified. It looks as though education has not groomed you enough to move on with changing realities.
People don't like undue and uncalled for criticism. Such criticism doesn't show your knowledge or grip at a subject. It implies that you are acting like you know but you don't. Had you known this much, you would have been enlightening people with your knowledge rather than criticizing their efforts or views. Healthy criticism is only possible when you know other is receptive. Other than that criticism only causes negativity.
Being courteous is a blessing for yourself and others around you. You should admire and motivate people. Yet their is a limit to everything. We are not as eager to show our courtesies to our subordinates. In the matter of superior people we can get oleaginous. We need to find a balanced demeanor that we can maintain for people of all position.
